How to get recruited

21 Jun 2026

As both an IC and executive, I’ve been recruiting for software roles for about 10 years, off and on. I’m starting to recruit again for my new role, and I find myself giving the same advice over and over so I thought I’d write it down. This post is about the mechanics of recruiting. It’s about how to make it smooth and easy for the recruiter, how to give hiring signals, and how to avoid red flags. It’s not about how to cultivate an interesting career or choose a company to work at. Those are different topics. This is from my subjective standpoint so take time to consider who you’re talking to when applying it. This advice would work best when interacting with a hiring manager or IC (someone who actually works at the company or on the team), not necessarily an HR person or third party recruiter.

How to reach out

When recruiting, you’ll usually see someone post a link to a role around their networks. If you have an interest in the role or company, the best approach is to DM or email that person directly. Don’t start a public conversation. The goal here is to appear thoughtful (like you’ve actually thought about why you’d take this job over something else) and respectful of their time by giving them everything they need. Your initial message should be as short as possible, but should cover these things:

Who are you and how do I know you?

Ideally you can reference mutuals here for credentialing. If you do have mutuals, it helps the recruiter more easily vet you. If not, that’s okay, but check. Provide at least one link that gives a clear overview of who you are, like a website, portfolio, or resume.

Demonstrate knowledge and interest in the person or the company

Take some time to research both the recruiter and the company. Have something thoughtful to say or ask. It sounds trite but 90% of people who reach out to me want to apply without even knowing what the company does.

Provide a clear call to action

At the end of the message, arrange for some kind of next step and provide the organizing mechanism (like provide days you are available or a link to your schedule). Aim for a zoom call or in person chat. State you want to take this time to learn more about the company and role.

Don’t apply for the job unless asked

Don’t submit an application unless you’re asked to. You want to come across that you are considering this over other options, which ideally, you should be. Also, our primary goal here is to skip the front door which is just a black hole for resumes. If we follow the right steps then applying will become a formality.

Interview the recruiter

Before meeting up, take time to research what the company and team does. Have some theories about how you’d fit in. Prepare some questions that allow you fill in the gaps. Ask long term questions about company direction and growth. Employment can be a pretty serious, long term commitment. Lots of your financial and mental health can be tied into the company, you should be equally as (if not more) careful about joining a company than the other way around. Presenting yourself as someone who thinks that way, will come across as a good hiring signal. You should present as someone who takes time to think before making a commitment and that you have other options to consider.

At the end of this meeting, ask them for feedback on your resume and how you can better tailor it to the job. Also ask them if you can speak to someone else on the team, ideally the hiring manager. If it’s a small startup ask to speak with a founder or CEO. Repeat this as much as you want before actually applying. Utilize the feedback in each step to hone your message.

Ask for a referral

Most big tech companies offer referral bonuses to employees as an incentive to spend time recruiting. This is pretty easy money for an employee. I’ve gotten bonuses as high as $10k for recruiting single, senior engineer. If you get a referral as a candidate, you often automatically skip some of the filtering steps in the process and increase your likelihood of getting an interview. You also have an “inner champion” in the process. When the company is dragging their feet, you can back channel the referral to push them along. Oftentimes if the interview panel is divided, they will bring on the referrer to argue your case and push you over the edge.

All this to say, get a referral. Ask the recruiter what is needed for a referral and advice on how to get one. Usually someone has to have worked with you or can vet your work, but that’s not always a strict rule. There is almost always a way to get one.

Applying for the job

If you do all this, applying for the job will become a formality. Doing this has yielded a near 100% success rate of at least getting an interview for me. I’ve done interviews and even gotten offers this way without ever formally applying for the job. Of course your experience and skills will matter a lot to all this. But the goal here is to maximize your chances of getting an interview. The rest is on you.

Final Note: This feels icky

It feels kind of cringey writing about things you should do to “appear” to be a thoughtful person. It may feel cringey to read too. For many of us in tech, it also feels icky to perform this kind of social engineering. The way I feel about it is, if you’re reading this you’re already a thoughtful person and probably a good hire. And I just want to help you signal that and better sell yourself.

It’s getting harder and harder to break through the noise. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of this hiring process, you’ll know that you can get thousands of submissions for a single role a week. Many of them real people using bots to apply to 100s of jobs, many of them just AI applying to scam you, and a small handful of thoughtful people who really want this specific job. But there isn’t enough human labor to find those people in the pile. If you blindly submit a resume it probably won’t get looked at. Or it will be looked at for just a brief moment by someone non-technical or a bot. With a lot of experience on the other end, I can say the good news is the tiniest little bit of effort actually makes you stand out.